After traveling all night Sunday I got into town around 5.30am Monday morning (6/13), stopped for a bite to eat then fell asleep in-front of my parent's house for a couple hours (I didn't want to wake them up). When I woke up it was about 9am so I knocked on the door and my mother opened it with a big surprised look on her face, I’d not mentioned what my plans were so she should have been surprised. I called them Sunday evening while driving but since I was on my cell (they are quite used to me using it) my mother had no idea I was on the road and headed her way. My dad was in the bed, looked a little blotted in the face and his hair has started to grow back in. It was only a week or so back that Mother mentioned he had lost his hair and clipped off any that was left, and that it was coming back in curly. I’ve been told many times Dad and his brothers have curly hair but it’s never looked that way to me; anyway his hair is light white/gray, short, and soft. I touched it and rubbed his head, he just grinned.
Thinking about it I’m not sure he recognized me but he acted like I was someone familiar. It’s a sad day to see him look this way, to know he’s given it a great effort to this point and that this is what cancer has left. A broken man, one who has always been strong, strong-willed and hard-headed; a man who could take care of himself but is now faced with doctors and nurses to sustain him, drugs to improve him (and knock him down) and a family to love him when exhausted and under duress.
Love is everywhere but the eyes tell me a lot. This is not a battle which can be won, it only can be postponed. Concerns are now mounting as to whether the complications, pain & sickness of chemo are worse than the disease. The last 2 doses dad received where a new concoction in an effort to change up and find a more effective drug to assist in the fight against the lung cancer and the growth in his abdomen (it’s not known if this is cancer, doing a biopsy is not an option). So the idea is to administer chemo to fight both, along with a couple small-small ‘flakes’ that were spotted in his chest area (unidentified also).
After some chatting I unloaded my things, pressed some shirts for the week, hung-up my pants, positioned socks, etc… in a drawer and fell on a bed for about 4 hours of sleep. After a shower I went out for some of my favorite hometown food, then came back to visit and for more sleep.
Later today Mother and I will be going out to the rehab center to do paperwork and get him admitted; I’ll update you if something happens, or later today when we’ve completed some things.